Sassafras
Chief Executive Officer (CEO) — Like Write on Rice Enterprises
Summary As CEO, Sassafras AKA "Sassy" rules the company with a firm paw and an unimpressed stare. A demanding and delightfully grumpy bulldog, she ensures that every grain of rice meets her exacting standards while maintaining an atmosphere of structured chaos and begrudging excellence.
Key Responsibilities
Issues high‑priority grumbles to keep staff on task
Conducts rigorous quality control through slow, judgmental sniffs
Enforces mandatory break times by sitting directly on laps or keyboards
Leads innovation by insisting all new ideas come with snacks
Represents the brand with signature bulldog charm, wrinkles, and authority
Qualifications
Mastery of the “I’m not mad, just disappointed” glare
Extensive experience in demanding attention at inconvenient times
Strong leadership presence despite short legs
Unwavering commitment to loyalty, treats, and maintaining her personal comfort
